The Secret to Descriptive Writing

Either I’ve encountered a conspiracy to confound teachers of writing, or I’ve discovered an “obvious secret” of descriptive writing. To paraphrase a classic School House Rock Video, it appears that verbs are, indeed, “what’s happening.”

I heard about the power of compelling verbs first from Ralph Fletcher in a visit to the Garden State. He explained that well-intentioned teachers encourage their students to use numerous adjectives to create interesting prose, which leads to detail-sodden writing which drags under its own weight. Simply unnecessary. In Ralph’s own words, “Nouns make the pictures, verbs make the pictures move.” (See my enthusiastic endorsement of a recent book by this author at the bottom of this post).

Flash forward to the New York State Reading Association (NYSRA) Annual Conference held in Saratoga Springs, New York (one of the best conferences I’ve ever attended). During the Author’s Progressive Dinner I had the pleasure of sitting with Steven Swinburne, creator of several wonderful nonfiction picture books including Lots and Lots of Zebra Stripes: Patterns in Nature and Turtle Tide: The Ways Of Sea Turtles. As he spoke with his guests about the creative process, he mentioned the importance of verb selection.

When I asked why he had mentioned verbs rather than any other part of speech, he quickly replied, “The correct verbs are essential. Verbs are the motor which drives the sentence.” Now I’m thinking that I’m on to something.

The following day I enjoyed a conversation with Steven Krasner, author of Play Ball Like the Hall Of Famers: The Inside Scoop From 19 Baseball Greats and Play Ball Like the Pros: Tips for Kids from 20 Big League Stars. Through his Nudging the Imagination workshop, Steve explained, he creates stories with students on-the-spot in order to model the writing process. “A huge key,” he explained, “is helping them to find the verbs to really move the story.” Opening one of his picture books, he pointed out he crafted the precise, vivid verbs of the final draft during the revision process, replacing common verbs which served only as place holders in the early stages.

If three very different writers can agree on the importance of verb choice, then I think there are some lessons to be learned by teachers of young writers:

• Encourage students to examine verb choice in novels, poems, picture books, and informational texts. I choose existing mentor texts and  rewrite excerpts using “common verbs” (or, as Krasner would call them, place holders). Students are then challenged to replace these with more precise or colorful verbs.


• Direct your students to consider verb choice in their own writing, and work to find action words that are more exact. As a start, outlaw there is, there are, there were, there was phrases. A better alternative always exists. As do exceptions. Remember the first line of Holes?


• Teach children how to use a print thesaurus or online reference source (such as the Merriam Webster dictionary or Wordnik) for assistance in locating more exact expressions.

Recommended Reading

If you're looking for a resource to take your students' writing to the next level, check out Ralph Fletcher's Pyrotechnics on the Page: Playful Craft that Sparks Writing. Ralph explains the book's title by saying:

I am defining pyrotechnics as deliberate playfulness with language used by writers to create a particular kind of effect as well as the specific tools used to create that that effect.

The term includes (but isn't limited to) puns, invented words, allusions, idioms, metaphors, similes, hyperbole, onomatopoeia, and alliteration. (A good deal of the text discusses sentence structure, which is key to complex and elaborated writing as defined by the Common Core standards).

While at first these devices might seem like window dressing, realize this: your best readers can recognize these devices (even if not by name) and understand them in texts, which leads to improved comprehension. Therefore, giving students practice with literary devices in writing will not only make them better writers, but better readers as well.

Among a ton of other issues in this book, Fletcher discusses the need for writing teachers and student writers to switch from the what (subject/meaning) to the how (language), and he follows up with many ways to make this important distinction. And to prove his point, the author provides this lovely extended metaphor:

The purpose of a dinner party isn't merely to sate your guests' hunger - they could easily go to the local greasy spoon for that - but rather to take them on a gastronomic journey. Certainly you want the food to taste good, but it's much more than that You plan, prepare, and cook the food so that it has the proper texture, crunch, visual and flavorful variety. The spices should be in harmonious balance with each other. Writers know the same thing. If you want to make your writing memorable to readers, you must give them an aesthetic experience.

In another section called Shimmering Sentences by Other Writers, he talks about how's he fascinated by writers who violate common ideas about usage, and get away with it. Not just get away with it, but produce stronger writing as a result! See Breaking All the Rules of Writing at my How to Teach a Novel site which discusses how author Andrew Clements does exactly that.

If you still think that the books' about "play" and not about "practice," consider what not just Ralph Fletcher, but other experts, had to say:

...Language play carries the huge cognitive benefit of helping children become more efficient language users. Many educators have pointed this out, including Vygotsky, who famously described a child's language as "a head taller" during play. Jerome Bruner said that "language is most daring and most advanced when it is used in a playful setting."

And for those who prefer practice over theory, Fletcher includes a number of hands-on, ready-to-use-tomorrow resources here, including a Q and A section, craft lessons divided by grade level (K-5+), and a number of appendices which supply the teacher with loads of language exemplars, as well as recommended mentor texts.

I can't recommend this book too highly! Preview it in its entirety online at Stenhouse Publishers and see if you don't agree! But buy it on Amazon, save the shipping, and support this site!

Nurturing a Sense of Wonder with Nonfiction Books

When I picked up A Place for Wonder: Reading and Writing Nonfiction in the Primary Grades, I really intended to just skim it over. After all, I now teach only sixth grade (this book is aimed at teachers of lower elementary grades) and I teach only reading and language arts (whereas this book, at first glance, seemed to be pretty much about science). Well, I read the introduction, and about two hours later discovered that I had read the whole thing from cover to cover. Not just read it, but thoroughly enjoyed it, and couldn’t wait to pass it on to a teacher of those grade levels so that they could put its ideas into action in their classroom.

First, know this: Georgia Heard and Jennifer McDonough don’t write in the world of the hypotheticals. Every idea they share for helping children make nonfiction discoveries comes from their real-life experiences with kindergartners and first graders. Every lesson plan has been implemented in “real time,” and it shows through the anecdotal stories, the authentic and very funny student dialogues, and their suggestions for practitioners based upon their experiences.

This isn’t another book of themes or centers; this is an easy-to-implement series of lessons which will assist any teacher, in any school environment, in opening the eyes of curiosity. And while some will argue that children are naturally curious, I would point out that schools have a way of stifling that curiosity. Not purposely, not systemically, but simply through neglect. A Place for Wonder shows how to take that natural curiosity and channel it toward authentic and purposeful explorations of nonfiction topics. What particularly impressed me was the plans for children to write their own nonfiction books, complete with table of contents and glossary!

My wife is a kindergarten teacher so she’s already laid claim to my copy. Looks like I’ll be getting another for my daughter’s teacher. It’s that good! I recommend you check it out online at Stenhouse, and get a copy for yourself, for a colleague in the lower grades, or for your own child’s teacher.

And now a small leap. Houghton Mifflin and author Pamela S. Turner have been kind enough to share copies of The Frog Scientist and Prowling the Seas: Exploring the Hidden World of Ocean Predators, two upper elementary level nonfiction science books. Know that these are not picture books, but lavishly illustrated chapter books, filled with photos from the scientific field.

I know a number of colleagues who love to focus their energies on readability levels and "age-appropriate" texts. I find their arguments a waste of time. The practice of limiting children to certain books flies in the face of both research and the way that I personally came to love reading. As Jo Worthy points out in “A Matter of Interest: Literature that Hooks Reluctant Readers and Keeps Them Reading”:

Far more important than readability is interest. When students have strong
interest in what they read, they can frequently transcend their so-called
reading level. Indeed, many educators and researchers consider interest to be a
paramount factor in all learning.

My own breakthrough experience came at age seven when my father handed me a field guide about snakes. He knew from my daily excursions turning over rocks and logs that I had an interest in such creatures. A confident graduate of first grade, I did my best to make sense of the task of reading the detailed descriptions of each snake type; I would have been less likely, by comparison, to struggle as doggedly with a fiction novel. At one point I came across this line: “Due to their coloring, these snakes are often inconspicuous in lower hanging trees branches.” Unable to parse out the meaning, I asked my older brother what “in con spish us” meant. He asked me to spell it. He then asked to see the book. I saw him read the sentences before and after the sentence containing my troublesome word. He returned the book and said, “It means not easily seen. The color helps it to camouflage itself.” And on that day I learned not just the value of context, but also the value of collaboration.

So what’s the point? The point is, younger children can benefit in many ways from nonfiction texts that are above their reading levels. Like me, they can piece together, sort out, and through collaborative efforts. make some sense of what they’re reading, especially if they’re reading with self-determined purposes.

A book like The Frog Scientist, then, which illustrates its points with clear, objective photographs, is perfect for young readers seeking information on a topic of chosen interest. In addition to providing facts about our amphibious friends, Pamela S. Turner captures the scientific attitudes and habits required to conduct meaningful work. Such life and vocational skills are a huge part of the much-touted 21st Century Skills, which makes this book even more important.

The Frog Scientist was recently awarded the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS)/Subaru SB&F middle-grade science writing prize. The book trailer below features biologist Tyrone Hayes (aka The Frog Scientist).

Prowling the Seas: Exploring the Hidden World of Ocean Predators is another well researched yet totally accessible book for children which focuses again on not just the creatures, but the scientists who work among them. Like The Frog Scientist, this book features amazing original photographs and accompanying detailed captions. Why are captions important? Watch your average reluctant reader (especially the boys) and they’ll page through books, simply looking at the illustrations. Occasionally, however, they’ll come upon an illustration so compelling that their internal sense of wonder will fire off multiple questions. This curiosity, in turn, drives them to read the captions in order to seek more information. Then their eyes may slide into the text itself, as they wonder what else there is to know about the illustration. Turner’s books do that: they sneak up and pull the reader into another world, and a whole new schema of understanding.

(A quick congratulations to Line of Alabama, and Wendy of Michigan, the winners of the Barefoot Books giveaway A Calendar Of Festivals: Celebrations From Around The World)

The Picture Book Experience

The folks at Stenhouse Publishing recently sent me a copy of Larry Swartz's The Picture Book Experience: Choosing and Using Picture Books in the Classroom, a 32-page flipchart on choosing and using picture books in the classroom.

If you don't know Stenhouse, I recommend you make their acquaintance. This publisher engages in the nearly unheard-of practice of publishing full books online, in pdf format, for educators to preview before purchasing. While this seems incredibly foolhardy, I'll admit that I've bought several books after previewing them in this way. The previewing experience showed me exactly what I was getting, and in many cases turned me on to a book which I might have otherwise passed by. (Other publishers should take a page from the Stenhouse playbook).

Now I have to admit, I was at first pretty skeptical about this 32-page book. How much useful information could possibly be contained in such a small publication?

A lot, it turns out. This concise little booklet very quickly gets to the core of what the "experience" of picture books is about by asking readers to inventory their own feelings about picture books. From there it moves to picture book classifications, topics, and "best of" lists. For the novice, this is all good stuff.

Then Swartz begins discussing the process of sharing picture books by creating a purposeful plan for the experience in the classroom. He provides questions and organizational structures for before, during, and after the reading, including what he calls "30 Ways of Working Inside and Outside Picture Books." The final pages present Class Events (culminating activities adaptable for any grade level) and blackline masters relating to activities discussed previously in the booklet.

Whether you're looking for a way to get your toe in the water or you're ready to jump in and totally commit, then The Picture Book Experience is a good start. And while at Stenhouse, be sure to browse some of their other titles. Need a recommendation? Have a book that's a favorite? Drop me a line.